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To · Attack · the · Passions · at · their · Roots · Means · to · Attack · Life · at · its · Roots
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I may not be sitting in a coffee shop in England, but I discovered last night how we can all be happy and get along (beware the vogons). I've been sick, and since the Nyquil hasn't been doing anything to let me breathe out of my nose, I've spent the last several hours watching television because it hurt to read. They have some truly revolutionary stuff.
(1) I know several ways to make everyone look hot in a bathing suit. Seriously, wouldn't the world be a better place and wouldn't everyone be happy and get along if we could just fix the eye-sores among us? Well, there are several options available. First of all, the George Foreman shake, because eating low-fat meat just isn't the same unless you've started your day with a protein powder mixed with water. yummmm. Second, Nutrisystem, because salt is your friend, and sometimes real food isn't enough. Third, 6 wks total body makeover, for those of us that want to spend $150 to have someone give us drawings of other fat people so we can paste our heads on them. Also, for those of you more workout-inclined, you should check out the air stepper. 'Nough said.
(2) Other than being fat and looking at fat people, the next most depressing problem on the planet is, of course, a lock of money. I figured out how everyone can get rid of debt, and even ways to make 5-figure sums in a single day! To start off our money management. To start us off with the pesky debt problem, there's this awesome book called "Debt Cures They don't want you to know about". You know what's in there works because Sara Underwood was on the infomercial and she was a playboy bunny. After all, when I want financial advice, I ask the girls who're losing the shirts right off their backs. The writer went on to promote his "two magic words" that when you say them can bring your debt significantly down. One guy went from $33,000 in debt to $1200 in debt in just one hour using these two words. I have two words for this author, "Bullshit"...oh wait, that's one word isn't it? But hey, you can all find out what his two words are by buying his book for $30 plus shipping and handling, 'cause when i'm in serious debt, I like to order things off the television at 3am. I was going to write more about money, but this paragraph is already too long.
(3) Some of you may be saying I'm just pulling shit out of my ass. Well, there's actually a product out there that's better at pulling shit out of a person's ass than any of it's other cheap knock-offs. It's called " Dual Action Cleanse" and you don't have to go make dutch porn if you have poop fetishes, just watch the commercial. Their secret formula of herbs cleans out your colon, and it's absolutely essential that you have this product! After all, you can't just eat things like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and expect to be healthy. Btw, the doctor they have on the infomercial they have set up to act like an objective voice of reason is not, i repeat, not getting anything out of this but the good feeling of knowing that people everywhere are pooping in their toilets on a daily basis. Just wanted to make that clear.
And now I'm tired and going to bed, without all of the cool little gadgets and fad diets I've drooled over all evening... and also without pooping. |
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So we have our glorious Senators, one of whom is a woman and one of whom is black, to parade around and show everyone how enlightened the Democratic party is.... 80% black voters voted Obama
70% latinos voted Hillary
Hillary has the majority of white women and Obama has the majority of white men, so it would seem.
Hillary has a vast majority (also in he 70s i believe) of the Asian vote So much for showing how unprejudiced we are. I wish I could find the results on CNN's website that they showed last night on the television, but I can't, so while the numbers may be slightly off (read 10%), this is still pathetic. |
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I called my Mammaw today to talk to her and thank her for sending me a birthday card. She told me the story about how her and Peppaw met. i don't know how I managed to not have heard it all these years. She dropped out of college and left East Texas to go to Lake Jackson and get a job out at Dow. One of her friends invited all the boys over, and mammaw as well, to have dinner on March the 5th. That night Peppaw told those guys, "alright, I'll give you guys a week and then i'm taking over." By the 9th Mammaw was making him his birthday dinner. By April 28th, they were married. In this time, Mammaw got back with the boy she'd broken up with in East Texas. He'd sent her back the engagement ring he bought her and she kept it for a little while then sent it right on back. She was 21; he was 24. They've now been married for 56 years, and they're both still walking around and active and everything. She's now 77 and he's 80.
It's just nice to be reminded sometimes, with all the drama that's been going on in relationships around here, that for some people things work out. |
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They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Well, I got under someone else last night and it didn't help a bit. Wanna know why? He was a huge disappointment. Terrible kisser. I had to wipe my face when he was done. Talk about sloppy. And then he who shall remain nameless went all soft by halftime and his balls were itty bitty. Too many drugs I suppose. Bleh. I guess the moral of the story is: I've had better. |
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The first phil club meeting was tonight. Dr Austin spoke and he was spectacular. He like, draws you into his own little world when he speaks. He's amazing. Anyway, best part? Really really hot guy named Zach showed up. I've never met him before. He's a junior and he just changed majors to philosophy. And he started talking to me! Not the other way around! Then later I ended up cornered by this guy named Daniel. I used to think he was pretty cute last semester, and he's fun to talk to, but he's getting a receding hairline, and now he's not so cute. But I noticed Zach leaning up against the wall on the other side of the room talking to this random guy, and looking at me. He left before I could get myself out of the conversation to go talk to him some more. Oh well, hopefully he'll show up next week. So, all's looking good right? Now all I need to do is stop feeling feelings about Patrick and I can have myself a totally hot guy with amazing eyes. Whoop! |
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So yeah, I feel completely separated from my friends right now. Didn't get to go to the huge party last weekend at the Cepheid house because Patrick was there. The noob party is this weekend (and it's a toga party which i've never been to before) and i can't go. Cassie even contacted me to ask me if i still wanted her to make me a toga and I can't go. Sheri and Marla are pretty much the only people I can call to hang out with and while they're both completely awesome, i'd like to see a few new faces too. All I've done for the past like 5 days is lay around on the couch watching Angel and Stargate. I'm just really freaking tired of not having a life. I feel like I did when I first got to A&M and like I did the end of last semester and the beginning of this one. |
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God, I'm turning into such a little emo kid, it's sickening ME. Anyways, So, for those of you who are not aware, I'm not seeing Patrick anymore until I'm over him, and I've quit my job because it was interfering with my school schedule. Both of these majorly suck balls. That said, both of these things will be good for me in the long run. Right now though, i feel completely self-conscious to the point of a light self-loathing. This may also be a good thing in the long run. I'll take time to evaluate myself and finally get back to validating myself, rather than having other people validate me. I realized that tonight actually, that I can't like myself unless other people that i care about, really like me too. If they're angry with me for something, i hate myself, if they think something i did was awesome, i feel awesome, etc. That's not the way a healthy person operates, although many of us in America do operate this way. A healthy person says, "i'm a good person. These are my good traits, these are my bad traits, and i'm going to hang out with other people who appreciate me for who i am, while not needing them to think so for my own well-being." So yeah, I'm trying to grow up again. To get out of this immature mindset I've been in for the last half-a-year. Who knew?
Edit: Also, I really need to get laid. That could help. Two and a half months with no play is way to long. |
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It's Amanda all over again. |
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I love my friends, more than anything. Some I don't talk to as often as I like, but I love everything about them, and right now I'm just going through my mind remembering all the times we had together. There was of course, the famous "spread your legs" moment with Katie and Jessica and I. Marla and I... well I'll leave our biggest moment together unsaid. It's not for virgin ears, lol. And my dear Caleb, "Caleb Lackey thinks about sex!" Cindy, Rachel the dorms were a great experience, and every once in awhile I miss it. You two are both so smart, and I forget sometimes that there's a higher plane of existence, the intellectual sphere. Still while that place is nice to visit, I must say I'm more comfortable in the silly plane of just watching tv, talking about fantasy books and sex, and ribbing each other to no end. Derek, Patrick I love you both dearly, and I don't know what I'd do without you two. You keep me sane, and make me feel loved, even though God knows, I've given you guys plenty of reason not to. You've both taught me more about friendship than anyone else I've known. How to rely on your friends, and the importance of standing on your own two feet. Thank you. Sheri, my dear, it's always a blast to hang out with you. We clicked from the very beginning, and while we don't talk often, it's nice to know I have a girl here in College Station that I can call whenever I need to, who will listen to me. Lacy, the king ; ) You're absolutely fabulous dear. You've also been on the shit-end of some of my shinanigans, and while you may be annoyed with me, you've never really gotten angry with me. You give me a hug, tell me it'll be okay, and it's nice to know that you understand me and whatever it is I'm going through. I really appreciate that babe. There are a ton more of you that care about me, and love the person that I am, and only want me to be happy, and I appreciate that as well. I've been through times before when I was all alone in this town, where I didn't have anyone I could call just to hang out, and it's nice to know that I have friends. Thank you guys. *cough Robert, David, Johnathan to name a few cough* |
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I unblocked Dug tonight on aim. I was watching a Brian McKnight video and amazingly Dug was the guy who popped into my head. So yeah, Idk what I'm trying to do but I figure a little friendly conversation couldn't hurt. I'm going to give it a shot and see if we can both behave ourselves. Wish me luck. *sigh* I just don't know what the hell is up with me, which is what I've been saying for months and months now. Bleh, we'll see. |
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So lots of changes recently...kinda. The biggest of which is moving into my new place. I'm planning on finishing everything up tomorrow. Also, we had a party at our new house Friday night after we got done moving a large portion of my stuff over here. I was outside talking on the phone to a friend who called. When I walked back in, the tone of the party had gone serious and we were getting into some deep stuff. I pretty much try to keep from intruding. Some peeps leave and I end up sitting outside with Derek, who bursts out with all this deep stuff. I'm not prepared. Remember, I haven't been involved in the earlier conversations. Patrick gets back and Derek makes him sit down too, and basically spills his heart out to us concerning several things, one of which was how Patrick and I have been behaving, as well as how Derek's been behaving towards us. Long story short, the physical's out the window, for serious this time. No more. Ever. And I'm okay with that.
Now don't get me wrong, I love doing things with Patrick. It's been going on for so long now, we know each other and what the other person likes very well. However, he's one of my best friends, and Derek's right in saying that this is hindering all of our relationships with each other. And I'm happy with the trade-off. Because having them as my best friends is more important to me than almost anything else right now. It ranks right on up there with my lil sis and breathing. They mean more to me than I can say, and also, to be honest, I'm kinda relieved. This whirlwind has gone on for so long, I've forgotten what it's like to be normal, and I think I have a chance to get back to it now. I had just found myself after the emotional trainwreck that was Daniel when I started screwing Patrick. I kept my spine for awhile, but then it left me, and I melted into a confused little puddle and haven't really left that state since. Now I feel like I have a very real, and very definite opportunity and ability to become myself again instead of a whiny little emo kid.
And on the note of moving on, I gave this guy named Branden a ride home today. Cool guy, fun to talk to. I'm inviting him to the housewarming party. But anyways, apparently I'm quite the hit at work. Aaron's told me about how all the guys around are intimidated by me and are talking about me. Branden happened to mention, "So you'll never guess what happened today." me: "What?" "this guy came up to me and he was like, 'So you know that blonde girl that you're talking to, Carolyn? Is she single?'" Branden told him not to quote him, but that I'd told him a little about myself and he was pretty sure I was. The guy was like, "Can you put in a good word for me?" I just laughed and I was like, "So who was it." Turned out it's this guy named Emery. He's a coach (read: supervisor) at work. He's got a shit ton of tattoos and a nail sticking out of his face under his mouth. He's actually a pretty chill guy, but I'm not so sure I'm diggin' the approach. It stinks of a lack of self-esteem and I dig the guys who're so arrogant they don't realize their shit stinks. So i'm debating whether I'm actually going to say yes if he asks me out. What I'd like is just to chill with him and his friends, that's when you really learn about a person. Oh well, I'm not gonna worry about it. Might as well say yes and give it a shot. It's not like he's going to fire me if I don't want to go on a 2nd date.
Anyways, peace, love, and sandwiches. |
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I just spent the last few hours moving alot of my stuff over here. The sad thing is, except for the bathroom, there's no noticeable difference. (Thais, the bathroom looks pretty. You'll be satisfied.) The bookshelf in the living room is currently housing many of my books (not all) and it's taking up three huge freaking rows. I'll move a lot of them when I get my bookshelves over here. The sad thing is, I just sneezed and my sneeze echoed in my bedroom. I don't like it! I want my stuff, lol. Oh well, happy times. Also I love my bank more than ever. I managed to get three overdraft fees on my account today. I called them and they took them off. :) Whoop for Wells Fargo! They didn't give me any hassle at all when I called. It was about a 4 minute phone call, including the IVR. Happy, Happy, Happy. Now if only I can manage to stop hurting people on accident... |
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My older sis just left me a comment on myspace asking me if I had any hot friends up here I could hook her up with. Needless to say, I was confused. So i click on her profile and read, "I'm Amanda and I'm in the process of getting a divorce right now..." So yeah, my older sis is divorcing the guy she's been with for 5? 6? years. This is going to be a change. I'm just wondering how my niece is going to take it. My poor Calysta. Anyways, I told Amanda she wouldn't like my friends, that they're all nerds, but that she's welcome to come visit if she needs a change of scenery. It just seems so weird that this is happening now. I mean, they made it through the baby period while my sister was in nursing school and they were poorer than ever, and now when things look like they're getting easier, it's time for a divorce. Bleh, I'm not going to pretend to understand or even care that much except for my niece's sake.... no, that's a lie. I want to give my sis a hug right now. |
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I haven't had a cig all day and I'm behaving weird. I actually want to be alone right now. I don't want people touching me, breathing near me, talking to me, or anything. wtf? |
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So, I checked my friend's page just now and someone decided to post information about the 7th book on their LJ without cutting! I have no idea whether it's true, but that's it! I'm not reading my friend's page until after I read the new book. You can all go to hell. <3 |
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I just went out to Halo, a local club, for the first time tonight. It was fun. I was trying not to get this army guy's hopes up. Great body of course, but I wasn't interested in fucking him. It really is too bad.
Anyways, I went with Robert and I was bored at first, but then the drag show started and that kept me occupied for awhile. Patrick met us up there and that was cool. Spencer actually started off the night for me. After the drag show, he told me how adorable I was (I love compliments) and drug me onto the dance floor. I danced three dances in a row with him and had a blast, but then I left him with Lindsey and Steven on the dance floor to go cool down.
When I came back up, it was kinda lame. Robert left then I just kinda stood there 'cause I didn't know anyone but Patrick and Ashley (who I've met a few times before). They were taking shots though, so I didn't have anything to do really. Patrick finally pushed me away from the wall and told me to go dance. (I'm realllllllly self conscious about my dancing) And I didn't know the other people and Patrick left me standing there in the middle of everyone feeling like a douche, so I just slouched back over to the wall again to try to keep from getting any attention. Then this guy named John came over and told me to dance with him. So I started dancing and he was like, "I said dance with me, not molest me!" So I attempted to dance and after awhile finally loosened up and had a pretty good time. No major jealousy issues or anything and the self-consciousness left after awhile. I figured if I make a fool of myself, fuck it. And I got compliments from him too! :D After they kicked us out and we were standing outside talking for a little bit before leaving, he grabbed Patrick and said, "This girl is hot! And not only that, but she's got one of the best personalities I've ever met!" So yay! Yay for Halo and yay for compliments and dancing with gay guys! |
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So, I got off work tonight and had 8 missed calls, all from Marla. She's in town! We're going to go out tomorrow and paint the town red! I can't wait to introduce her to everyone! Whoop! |
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Since I was without a computer, I had to write my thoughts down the good-ol'-fashioned way. Now I'm typing them for the world to see. |
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I was looking at Groucho Marx on imdb.com and this is what i found: In 1989, the Republic of Abkhazia (in the former Soviet Georgia) proclaimed independence. To show the world they were rejecting their Communist past, they issued two postage stamps of Groucho Marx and John Lennon (as opposed to Karl Marx and V.I. Lenin). Also: "I drink to make other people interesting." Groucho Marx rocks. That is all. |
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I'm watching Without a Paddle on TV right now, and I didn't realize how much I miss my high school friends. I can't wait 'till they're here for HP weekend and we can just sit around and talk about the good old days. Also from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe: |
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Guys, remind me to never, ever eat junk food again. I feel like shit. :-( My stomach hates me. |
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While I was at work today, this girl told me she would pick up my shift on the 5th, assuming we both graduate. That means I can go home and meet my siblings. I don't even know what their names are. It's weird thinking of myself as one of seven. I'm going to have to get a picture of all of us while i'm down there. I hope they're pretty, lol. I don't want ugly siblings... okay, seriously, that was a joke, but it was funny as fuck. I'm actually more worried about them hating me or resenting me or being serious brats that i'll want to punch. but seriously, I hope they're pretty. |
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I've had a fantastic day today, and I'll start at the beginning. I have some pretty big news as well.
I went over to Patrick's and we ordered TJins and hung out, and had a good time. When Lacy got off work, Derek, Patrick, Lacy, and I went to see Ocean's 13, which was pretty fabulous. Still doesn't replace the first one in my mind simply because the first seriously took me by surprise. After that, we all went out to Cafe Capri (the first time for me), and I was still full of TJins so I didn't eat much, but the ceaser salad was amazing and so was the Tiramousu (sp). Then we all went back to Patrick's and chilled for awhile. I got lots of cuddling, and pretty much spoiled him, and it was a ton of fun.
Now for the big news: I am now one of 7 siblings. My mom left me a voicemail while I was in the movie that said, "So, i was just calling to congratulate you. You're a sister again. You now have 2 new brothers and a sister. Ages 6, 8, and 11." They're a family, and she adopted them. So yeah, I don't even know all of my siblings' names. This is kinda trippy, even though I knew it was coming. My mom is an amazing, giving woman. I'll be proud if I can grow up to be even half the woman she is. |
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I had a dream just now, that I was on a trip with my entire family. We stopped at a convenience store and went inside, it was taking forever! There were all these 12-16 year old girls up there. They were filling out forms to get an abortion. The types of abortions had names like cell phones. The Baby Killer X219. I was thinking, "abortions? i don't want an abortion. it'll put a scar across my stomach and then i'll never be pretty again." So I was looking around desperately trying to find some way not to have an abortion, and i was trying to find a way to hide so my mom wouldn't see me. Once I got up to the front of the line (the line moved really slow). I saw some summer sausage up where the cigarettes are usually sold. So I bought some summer sausage (which incidently was not made out of fetuses) and right as i put the first bite of this delicious summer sausage in my mouth, i woke up. So yeah, I'm fucked in the head. |
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?: you are crazy as a loon, but we still love you
me:yeah, i'm a bit nuts, what can i say? And also, I love you too...if this is who i think it is... *wonders*
?:you have no idea.. BWAHAHAHA *cough cough* could I trouble you for a lozenge?
me:Haha, who is that?! :)
?:If i told you, I'd have to kill you. But if I killed you I could have my way with your corpse. It's all too much to decide right now. I'll think about it over night and kil... i mean tell you in the morning.
me:lmao! I guess it's a case of curiosity killing the cat, err, the Carolyn.
?:*hump hump hump*
me:haha, only slightly creepy.
?: i do what i can
me: okay, it's morning. spill!
?:I'm sorry but I can't. I have decided to kill you and have my way with your corpse instead. I can only hope that you see me coming and have a little bit of satisfaction knowing it was me right before everything goes dark and cold. eh, who am I kidding. This is Kevin. and I WIN
me: haha, you're a punk! |
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"you smell like poo. how do you do? dont be so blue coo coo ca choo"
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Apparently there was a holiday yesterday that I wasn't aware of, though apparently many, many people in CS were aware of it. The holiday was "Bring your dog to the track and let it shit on it" day. I didn't discover this until I arrived at the track this morning, and had to run staring at the ground to avoid ruining the cylindrical shapes of these festive reminders. |
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Bubbabuddy: DO NOT go to a party don't go to a party avoid parties |
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"Do you know who this is? its your worst nightmare! BWAHAHA"Reply"you are crazy as a loon, but we still love you"Reply "You are beautiful."Reply |
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Sheri's got me into this goodreads.com site. Basically, you and your friends list the books you've read, give reviews, and list what you're currently reading to give people ideas of what to read next. It sounds like it could be pretty cool, but it'll need more people. So, guys, go join. You can search for me with carolyn_tribute@hotmaill.com |
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I acted amazingly inappropriate yesterday. So inappropriate in fact that if it had been one of my friends that acted like I did, we might not be friends anymore. So I've been set new rules to follow, which I think is all for the good. The rules are thus: Only hanging out at his place once a week, and I have to call before I come over. Also, no sleeping there, but if I have to in the distant future, I'll be sleeping on the couch. I actually feel really good about these. Also, I'm making a rule for myself. It's the same one I set myself after I started crying at the Philosophy house one night and got all emo in the car on the way home. God, that was a terrible night. I was so stupid, and acted so terribly. The next day Daniel cut it off with me again for the last time, and I took it amazingly well. I tend to take people not wanting to see me anymore really well when I'm really disappointed and ashamed of myself. But yeah, the rule is: no drinking for awhile. If I can't control myself when I drink, then I don't need to be drinking. It's as simple as that. So yeah, this was just something for my records. I'm not really upset at all, except at myself for last night. I'm so lucky I have friends that will forgive me and still love me when they've seen the absolute worst side of me.
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